back to my roots.

i really need to shutdown my cpu b/c my firefox refuses to load up.


okay, so i have a quit rant and a little change to make.
so here we go:
so today while i was at work i was thinking that i need to actually start putting effort into making the change that i actually want for myself.
i keep saying how much i yearn for a change but i nvr make an effort to do it.

it's like me back when i used to say i go headstrong but then i loose track and fail.

i started on the outside but not on the inside.

sooo,
this blog is gonna go completely private until i get myself in order.
i'm not moody or sad or w/e.
i'm THINKING!
going back to my roots i guess.

so yeah,
i guess being on the front end
and taking a bleach bath does wonders.
*points @ di*

so my quick rants.
i think this whole empowering thing has come over me b/c of my 'current frustration'
i'm enraged for the reasons...
ya know....
yeah bam.

and theres nothing i can do about it
so imma start concentrating my time on MYSELF!

i think i've been missing out anyway.
get back some old stuff.
ya know...
i need to go back to my roots.
haha, i kinda like that,
so thats the name of my blog.

i'm capable of achieving anything i put my mind to,
but i ALWAYS loose track b/c of me being lazy, giving up or w/e.

gahh,
normally 'this' would be over now,
i tend to reminisce all the time.
i linger on the pass.
i hate lingering.
hattteee it.

...maybe thats good for a reason,
but i shouldn't do it all the time.

[wtf, why is there fireworks outside?]

i'm growing as a person.
i'm growing into my mold,
i need to be about me,
but not SO SO much.

so today was my last wednesday working and boy am i happier than ever.
working on wednesdays kills me.

this pass week has been pretty cool.
normally i treat days as like extra short,
and like i have no time to pack everything i wanna do in it.

like when i come home,
i would normally go to sleep, and then like wake up,
chilllll, do hw.
and then get on the cpu or some shit,
and that would be my day.

but nowadays it feels so much longer.
one of my customers told me that today.
hmm

i got so many name compliments.
i wish i would have gotten that when i was younger,
it would have helped my self esteem sooo much.

ooo, so i was also thinking about my shy nature.
like idu why i get so shy around people that i barely know or just met.
like i normally don't engage in convos with my customers but something came over me today and i did! =]]

like i remember last year when me and morgs we're talking to one of her friends thats came back to the school to visit,
i got so shy acting when she was talking to me for like no apparent reason.
gahblah!

i can't help it,

my freakin back hurts and i'm typing as fast as i can b/c i really wanna lay in my bed.

but yeah,
when i talk to someone new or diff,
i get tongue tied,my lisp gets thicker...
it's ridiculous.

but hmm,
i just wanted to do this b4 i went to sleep otherwise i would have been thinking about it all night.

you see how fast i was typing when i decided to make this blog private.
[..well you can't seee but yeah. =]]
odddd.

smfh.
gnite<3