my heart is screaming, w/o a sound!

lalalala;
i'm in an abnormally terrific mood.
which is pretty odd b/c i wasn't so happy earlier.

so i realized the reason why my firefox was being a dick
was b/c i never added the updates on there.

ahh, like i haven't updated that shit in ages.
but now that i did everything looks so much coolerrrr

seee:


ahh,
so my mom was gonna take me driving tomorrow.
but i wanna get my credit/debit card b/c i want these shoes!





lol, thats sad.
so i'm gonna plead with her to take me to my bank tomorrow.
all i have to do is show them my acceptance letter and bam
i'm in thereeee like swimwear!
[haha, i always wanted to say that!]

woo, i haven't stayed up this late in like forever.
i miss itttt.
i'm trying to force myself to go to sleep earlier now so that i won't be sleepy during school.
it's been going kinda okay.

&whats makes it even better is that my sis is over her friends house
so i'm all aloneeeeeeee!

umm,
i'm over my frustration.
wooooo!!!

haha,
i just remembered i have hw to do.
tisktisk

ahh, okay i have nothing to say.
imma finish watching the real world now =]

MORGAN MOTHERFUCKING ALEXANDER
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

santa seemed to miss my chimneyyy

woooo!
i had a super day yo man dawggg.

=]]]]]

this pass week has been great.
my method is really making a positive difference for me.
next week i really do have to balance it.
but i'm pump for right now =]

hmm, i think i'm gonna make this blog public again.
i was gonna wait till sunday,
but i mean i can always make it private again if i want to
hmph.

haha,
i have to check my phone note.
*checks*

ooo, i got my hair did!

ahh, so like i was saying today was pretty cool.
i love than pb drives.
lol, it makes me wish i would have been more concerned about getting my license beforehand
but oh well.

ahh, we went to ihop,
and i had my first omelette ever.
lol, even though i was told it smelled like musty pits.
lmfao.
it was good.

[haha, i let my mom is watching the little RHS track tv thing and she keeps screaming every time pb and di come on]

but anyway,
we went to the mall,
and got kicked out,
gah but i was nothing big.

ohh, haha,
we made boom check and see what time the mall opened,
and then like when she got up to the building pb
drove off and boom started running after the car.
lmfaoooooooo;
i was dying!
i almost peed on myself.

but hanging with them was too awesome for words.
it realllly made me take my mind off of stuff.
like really!
though its currently on my mind now.

ooo, and i didn't shake!
like i think i shook like twice this whole week and it was pretty minor.
maybe b/c there was a smaller amount of people.
but i'm growing to become comfortable.

i'm content,
and i have no complaints,
theres only room for improvement. =]

ahh, so i was thinking about something but it isn't as significant as it was around the time i was thinking it.
like if i were to blog about it, it would be blah.
maybe next time.
mann, i hate when that happens.

hmm, to recap on my current frustration.
i'm trying to take what my siggy said into account.
it's extremelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hard,
but gah, it's out of my hands.

*thinks about method*
must balance!

urmmm,
ahh, my gauge hasn't been hurting since kevon made it bleed.
maybe it needed to bleed,
idk.
it only hurts when some fuckin black person smashes my ear.

agah, i have to take it out for church tomorrow.
i wonder how thats gonna go.

so bam,
i need to edit my blogs from the past two days and i'm done.

peace<3

somekindaway.

sigh.
initially i was really elated.
i had a wonderrrrrful day today,
but now i'm really upset.

ugh, let me get it out of the way.
my 'current frustration' escalates every motherFUCKIN day!

it's really pissing me off
i'm so upset,
i'm like on the verge of shedding emotions in the form of liquid but i don't want to b/c thats for bitches and i told myself i wasn't gonna cry over this.

ahh, too late.

but moving on,
today was pretty sweet.
me, kayla, candice, and cia were playing slapjack today and it was so awesome.
i was acting like a crackhead tryna slap the cards cause kayla kept winning.
but i got one hand though!!
=]

and SGAAAAAA!
agah!
it was so awesome.
even though it was dead.
the important people came today.
i can't wait for the lock-in.
weeeeee.

soo me and pb are much much much more better now.
i'm trying not to talk about what i'm not suppose to talk about with her and focus on other stuff and ask her about herself,
and it seems to be going fine.
we had like a real deep talk today.
i love herr.

ughhh shitfuck,
i keep thinking about it!

so tomorrow we finally go to ihop and i finally get my hair done!
i guess thats encouraging.

okay well i'm done.
i lost my mood to blog. =[

hmm, i wonder what imma do to these blogs when i make this thing public again...

back to my roots.

i really need to shutdown my cpu b/c my firefox refuses to load up.


okay, so i have a quit rant and a little change to make.
so here we go:
so today while i was at work i was thinking that i need to actually start putting effort into making the change that i actually want for myself.
i keep saying how much i yearn for a change but i nvr make an effort to do it.

it's like me back when i used to say i go headstrong but then i loose track and fail.

i started on the outside but not on the inside.

sooo,
this blog is gonna go completely private until i get myself in order.
i'm not moody or sad or w/e.
i'm THINKING!
going back to my roots i guess.

so yeah,
i guess being on the front end
and taking a bleach bath does wonders.
*points @ di*

so my quick rants.
i think this whole empowering thing has come over me b/c of my 'current frustration'
i'm enraged for the reasons...
ya know....
yeah bam.

and theres nothing i can do about it
so imma start concentrating my time on MYSELF!

i think i've been missing out anyway.
get back some old stuff.
ya know...
i need to go back to my roots.
haha, i kinda like that,
so thats the name of my blog.

i'm capable of achieving anything i put my mind to,
but i ALWAYS loose track b/c of me being lazy, giving up or w/e.

gahh,
normally 'this' would be over now,
i tend to reminisce all the time.
i linger on the pass.
i hate lingering.
hattteee it.

...maybe thats good for a reason,
but i shouldn't do it all the time.

[wtf, why is there fireworks outside?]

i'm growing as a person.
i'm growing into my mold,
i need to be about me,
but not SO SO much.

so today was my last wednesday working and boy am i happier than ever.
working on wednesdays kills me.

this pass week has been pretty cool.
normally i treat days as like extra short,
and like i have no time to pack everything i wanna do in it.

like when i come home,
i would normally go to sleep, and then like wake up,
chilllll, do hw.
and then get on the cpu or some shit,
and that would be my day.

but nowadays it feels so much longer.
one of my customers told me that today.
hmm

i got so many name compliments.
i wish i would have gotten that when i was younger,
it would have helped my self esteem sooo much.

ooo, so i was also thinking about my shy nature.
like idu why i get so shy around people that i barely know or just met.
like i normally don't engage in convos with my customers but something came over me today and i did! =]]

like i remember last year when me and morgs we're talking to one of her friends thats came back to the school to visit,
i got so shy acting when she was talking to me for like no apparent reason.
gahblah!

i can't help it,

my freakin back hurts and i'm typing as fast as i can b/c i really wanna lay in my bed.

but yeah,
when i talk to someone new or diff,
i get tongue tied,my lisp gets thicker...
it's ridiculous.

but hmm,
i just wanted to do this b4 i went to sleep otherwise i would have been thinking about it all night.

you see how fast i was typing when i decided to make this blog private.
[..well you can't seee but yeah. =]]
odddd.

smfh.
gnite<3

when you see bananas on the road stop before you spill your kool-aid!

okay, so i really should be going to sleep.
but being as though i get to sleep 45 minutes later and i'm on this super cool laptop,
it'll be okay.

today was pretty sweet if i must say.

i finally had a near death experience!
lmfao.

today heather took me, cia, and kayla to mcdonalds.
and when we were coming out of kaylas drive thru,
the car just so happened to stop working.
how great.
so we started rolling and go stuck in the street.
lmao, so my first instinct was to scream
because like cars were coming down the street and crap
and i kinda freaked out pb.
but all was well in the end.
i think it was b/c her car didn't have time to warm up,
but a lesson was learned.

hmm, soo the rest of my day was cool.
even though i had a wack ass lunch!

urm,
ooo, i didn't shake today!
i'm sure that'll change as the week goes by
i was pretty comfortable today. =]]]
i hope tomorrows the same. =/

oh fucking yeah!
i lost my $1.09 pack of gum.
omfg, it was a full pack of the orange trident shit,
and i was pissed as ever!

[lol, i'm trying to hurry up and type this b/c it's my bed time]
haha

so,
i became angry numerous times today.
that i will not dicuss b/c imma fuckin get angry again.
like i'm freakin angry now!
grrr.

so yeah,
me and the siggy went to a rock show today and i feel in love,
jerrit<3
his band was so freakin awesome man.
i was freakin out.
and he can screaaaaam.
agahh!
he's so gorg.

ohh, and i finally sheiked today.
lalaalala;
fiddle diddle balls and tiddle.

*thinks*

laughed till i cried
got a veggie burger meal
saw people throw down.

my day is set.
peace =]

random ass butt monkeys.

okay so i just thought this was an interesting thought.

so today we had hw due,
it was to get an example of a satire
and of course i didn't do it.
lol

so like i started looking through my book bag.
i wasn't really concerned about finding one b/c i knew something would work out.
i was very oppy about it
even though i was being nataki and complaining about it. =]

so i was looking through my book bag,
and what do i find?
my PETA stickers.

the "i am not a nugget" sticker was a perfect satire.
it offered irony, humor, as well as getting a point across.

this is not the first time this has happened.
i had to bring an example of something else in for the same class a couple of months back.
back when i used to wear my PETA button.

ahhh and my PETA button came in handy b/c i got to explain that and get my grade!

haha,
i just thought that was a cool coincidence.
being an animal activist has it's perks.