&when the world treats you wrong; just come with me &i'll take you home.

ahh, okay, i don't have much time to blog due to the fact that i'm about to leave out again b/c my mom is giving away our kodieyy.

but on to more important things.

It's becoming stronger everyday. I refuse to be like all the rest and flaunt what I have figured out about myself. It's for me...and any other significant that i choose to tell. No, I'm not ashamed..I just don't want to be slapped in with the rest the trend.

ahh, i admire open people.

okay, i just remembered how i am when i blog.

i have a short attention span...

um, so yeah.

i admire how people can talk about personal topics but not TOO personal.

i mean i'm not gonna tell a random person or an associate for that matter my life story and shit,

but i admire the openness.

however, i dislike when people are too open.

it makes me think they want some type attention &shit.

i mean like telling every person you sit down and talk to about your sex life?

ehhhh.

but wtfe.

imma keep my opinions to myself,

shit starts when you speak your mind to close-minded people.

so today one of my 'friends' got into with a little 10th grade.

[i used friends with the ['] b/c she's not really my friendd aha!]

ahhh, iduw.

i mean, why care?

gurrrrrlll, we have 19 days left, 

no scratch that 19 SCHOOL days left.

i highly doubt that you'll see of those kids ever again, unless you choose to of course.

brush that shit off and move onnn.

thats my mentality.

i have ALOT of crap thats urking me nowadays.

people i'm starting to dislike...and such&such.

but i keep it to myself,

it's my choice whether or not i decide to keep in touch with them...

so why worry?

i'm focusing on being all stable and what not.

like i said i'm not too happy about some stuff but i don't let it phase me.

no point.

my siggy was telling me how the things we deal with or have a problem with in HS seems so minimal to what college has in store for us...and I think thats true.

we're all at an immature state right now, 

college is when we'll start maturing up and junkkk.

i think in the process i'm kind of brushing some of my close-iessss off.

[LOL, i just made up that lame word]

but it's totally unintentional.

i find more interest talking to people i don't norm talk to rather than talking to the ones I do.

same ole' same ole' just gets so boring sometimes...

hopefully movie night works out as planned and some good ole' corny bonding comes to play.

i miss arguing with boom about views and stuff through txt.

talking to morgs everyday.

IMing di.

&fighting with concaveup in the hallways.

LOL.

oh &even rufus, your missed as well too. somewhat.

aha! jkay.

ooo, and a jezzy.

agahhh, i could go on and on. 

=]]

...okay i'm doing pretty good remembering what i wanna talk about. 

ahehe

hmm,

well my mom finally decided where we're moving.

we're moving sometime in december.

i'm not gonna post it here b/c that would be dumb.

but if you wanna know just ask meeeee. =]

it's not too far so i'm def gonna get my car so i can transport and see my fellows<3

yahyah

i'm just sooo terribly content.

soo thats about it for now.

i lost the bid to my fricken blazer yesterday.

some bitch tried to out bid me and raised the price to 30 bucks and shit.

sooo NOT worth it!

so now i'm looking for cute hippie throw over bags. =]

yes,yes imma lame.

okay.

adioossss.

peace<3

pointless blog #whaaa?

I'm going to cease typing BLOGGGGSSS for a bit, as far as emkaydien goes.

I just find more peace in NOT thinking about my life in depth.

like analyzing what goes on and such.

I like how things are going so ehhh.

I REALLY WANNA GO SHOPPING[!]

mann, like i just want money,

and i don't wanna work.

I just see stuff I want and I have the money for it,

but to blow the money out would be dumb.

I plan on WORKING my ass off over the summer.

not only for my college needs,

but for my superficial wants.

i wanna shoppp.

ehhh,

online shopping that is!

TWITCH is my inspiration.

but i wanna tone it down somewhat. =]

i'm done.

ahahaha.

p.s my student aid is glorious.

purely heaven on a STICK!

it's better to light a candle than to curse the dark.

ahhh, i actually have spare time so i think imma blog.

LMFAO, i just realized that blogger has like this little spell check thingy thing.

that'll do great help for me b/c i can't spell for shit.

but anywhoooo,

ahahahaha,

one of my friends told me that everything that goes through me turns into crap.

LOL, i find that hilar b/c it actually has been seeming that way.

like it seems like every little incident that happens everyone seems to find out about it.

likeee, the whole me pulling down 'concaveup' skirt.

[***totally unintentional BTW***]

buttttt, yeah, everybody kept talking about it and saying stuff like

 'are they even cool?'

'are they even talking?'

ehhhhh, i just find it amusing and aggravating but mehhh, thats HS for yah.

ahh, i feel really different.

like DIFFERRRRENNTTT.

in a positive way and a negative way.

i feel kind of out of it talking to my close buddies.

like dead.

idky, i think it's b/c i've gained this whole 'i need to learn how to be to myself' mentality.

i've ceased telling people stuff that i want to tell them, 

partly b/c i hate explaining and b/c i think i say too much.

ehhhh, but thats gonna change.

brb, i gotta check my rice on the stove.

lmfao, running back i almost fell.

but bam, 

what was i saying?

ohh, but positively,

it's helping me gain more self assurance.

more confident and ishnessnessss.

ahhhhhhh, but like i said it's all a PROCESS.

oh!

don't you know that thing called you conscience?

it tells you stuff that you often ignore.

i've tried this little thing called listening to it 

it's very minor but likeee.

hmmm, when i'm doing something for instance 

like say i was leaving out to take the trash out and something tells me to take my phone with me.

normally i would ignore it, but i'm making it a must to LISTEN to it, 

no matter how small and insignificant i think it is.

idkkk, i just think your conscience is there for a reason.

umm, 

i'm making this little salsa rice thing berri told me about.

i made it likee sunday and it was oh so delic!

um, so yeah

life is going pretty dandy.

i have jii shit to fix w/ self and others but like i saidddd...

shall i repeat myself once more? 

i think i shall...

it's  a PROCESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS[!]

adios<3

Yooooooooooooooooooo, think about it;

things really DO happen for a REASON!

ahh, i'm pretty oppy and tranquil.

just thinking<3

I WILL be updating this as well as emkaydien soon.

and I WILL be adding a vidblog.

i'm gonna be kinda busy this weekend,

i have jii hw to catch up on,

i have to work,

my penn state thingy is sunday

and other such&such.

so hasta whenever?

adios

introvert.

ahh, so i stayed home today,

simply b/c i needed a personal dayy.

ahh,

man this is the second night in a row that i didn't fall asleep until 3ish.

idk, i think i have a lot of stuff on my mind,

but whaaa?

eh,

so i was tryna recover all my old pictures from last year and such.

mann, it's amazing to me how we all change every year.

like okayy,

chck this out...

sophomore year:

for some odd reason this year always appears to me as my best year in hs.

i was so rude, random, out there.

gigitygigity.

my hair was crap though. ahe

junior year:

this year was all about fannies, glasses w/ grandma chains, &fake moles.

it's when i first started expressing myself through my clothing.

senior year:

can't type anything for this yetttttt. =]

9th grade i looked tragic.

i wouldn't dare put any of those pics up.

ahahahahah

ahh, 'tis one of the reason why i love change so much.

geez, that took up a chunk of my time.

lol.

&i lost my train of thought.

but noww, 

i just feel like i've matured over the past few years.

i'm molding into self.

um, so yeahhh.

i just painted my nails =]

ohhh, i've been saving money pretty good.

[that sentence was phrased terribly]

i've only spennt about 36 bucks so far this week.

ahh, after this penn state trip and i pay my deposit for my off-campus housing,

imma start my prom shit.

well, 

i lost the mood to blog.

maybe when i'm ranting in my head i shall.

i feel alone, but i'm sooo not lonely. 

lets play scrabble[!]

this is my random vid blog for the day:

so i haven't blogged about how i've been feeling lately.

i'm trying to balance keeping to self, and talking to others.

as well as keeping myself distant from others.

&i'm also balancing WHO i talk to.

it's a process. 

lol

i like talking to new people,

rather than talking to the old.

but theres a few i love to keep around!

<3

everytime i think about shit it just makes me loathe stupid people so much.

i'm coping with the realization that everything that i thought was all fine and dandy isn't.

it's cool, all apart of my learning experience i guess.

it was bound to happen sooner or later.

oh &like i said b4, 

i like observing people.

i've always done it but it's become more of a habit now.

overall,

i'm better with self than i ever was.

wayyy more comfortable.

i need and i'm becoming more dependent on me

i now know who's there for me, and i now know who's not.

about time those lames got weeded out.

oh yessss.

very saucy.

ahehe

idk what to title this. ahehe

 ahahhaha i had to!

piggss<3

hmm, idk if imma post this here or on emkaydien but i just wanted to type it while it's still in my head.

i've acquired a new appreciation for people.

like the people i norm, and still do make fun of.

it's a bad habit, but i admire them so much.

people often say how they stay true to themselves no matter what,

but in some way, shape or form we all give in to whats 'in' or what other people are doing.

like at rhs, just the same as any other school we have those people who just don't seem to fit in.

likeee, urm.

theres this kid that i call 'the harry potter kid'

lmfao.

and even though i make fun of him.

*slaps self on wrist*

i admire him just the same.

that boy dgaf,

he could care less if people don't like how he looks or how he acts.

he's content with himself.

and i know i may just be on the outside looking in and it might be another way than it actually seems, but if he really cared sooo much.

he would have tried to change.

now i don't talk to him at all but my husband does,

and i was listening to their conversation.

he's just like any other kid who likes to play video games &junk.

he may not LOOK like the rest of us.

but i'm pretty sure if we talked to him we might share some things in common.

ohh,

and theres this other kid, urrm, 'big sexy' lmfao!

i think we all know who that is.

[well rhs kids of course]

we'd usually just make fun of him b/c of him not wearing a shirt and how he walks and stuff.

but mannn i give that boy props.

he really DOESN'T give a fuck.

he's been like that since what? 9th grade.

still struttin around with tight beaters and he could careless what people say.

i admire that.

these are some of the genuine people that we often over look b/c they don't look like us.

but if we put aside the rude jokes,

we could learn a thing or two from them.

and i know i do that too.

it's a funny entertaining habit,

but even though i do do it [ahaha]

i still feel a different way about it.

mann, i always think that idgaf and i don't to an extent.

but i mean were all human, can't help it.

i just wanna turn mine down a notch.

i've just been observing people these past couple of weeks.

it's actually kind of fun, but i think it's making me more open-minded.

hmmm, well i'm done.

i think imma just post this here.

lol.

adios.

=]

i think this week was preparing me for my punch in the face.

i kept repeating to myself that my eyes are opening,

but their wide as ever now.

pretty unexpected,

but definitely NOT out of character.

NULL & VOID

swoosha.

i thought this was sweet:

isn't it funny how day by day

nothing changes,

but when you look back

everythings diffrent?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

so yeah,

i thought of something to blog about but i don't feel like staying on the cpu long enough to type it.

lol

so bam.

my mom got like this huge cart of oranges and they're SO sweet.

i'm about to smash.

[haha, i said smash]

but yeah, 

i'll bbt.

hopefully i'll be inked.

outtie<3