thrust me with some peace.

i need to calm my soul.

it's so frustrated at the moment.

i had a pretty good day, i'm becoming very comfortable here.

but theres one new unfortunate thing thats kind of pushing me off my tracks.

i'm trying to let it not get to me,

but i can't help ittttt.

it's much easier when it isn't seen but today was like OD too much.

i'm already awkward as it is, so playing it cool was a def no no.

i'm trying to get over it, but i suck.

1 more month of this nonsense tho! sigh :/

so i was just reading my blog from 3/31 last year and it's funny because i'm feeling kind of the same way right now.

i've always had a problem with being around the same people ALLLL THE TIMEEEE.

like i hate seeing and being around the same people everyday.

i'm so over cliques, i'm so over that omg every bodies my best friend!

i like to broaden my horizons cause i get bored easily.

i really enjoy talking to new people, b/c it's something different.

so when this girl hits me up everyday i get so annoyed.

it's not like i don't like her but damn, give me some fuckin time to miss you or something like damn!

i'm very sweet, and i admire and enjoy a lot of people, but not when i'm around you 24/7.

i'm tryna hold on to a little piece of myself

lately, i've been running through all these different methods that i use as an attempt to express myself.

i tried going to tumblr, making my own cpu diary, and even writing poems again.

but nothing suffices.

i miss the good ole days where i would come home from a happy, sad, chill w/e day and just blog my heart out.

i wear my heart on my sleeve here, and i miss that.

it was good for me.

i'm at a lost for words at describing myself.

ever since school started, i've been slowly loosing her.

now she's gone.

i'm not the same Nataki i was a year ago, i'm uptight, extremely introvertive, sour, bitter..

the only thing i seem to have kept were my flip floppy emotions.

what happened to that random, say anything out the ass, goofy loopy girl that I used to be before this whole Altoona thing happened?

the person i appear to be here is not who i truly am.

but i can't seem to fuckin dig her back out,

every time i push my hand in she gets deeper and deeper.

[ahahha, no pun i swearr!]

the only thing that's keeping me sane is my terrible habit to dwell on the past.

i look at old pictures, videos, read old blogs to remind me of how i used to be,

gives me some kind of hope i guess..?

idk what i should do,

i've just been taking each day at a time.

i need to go home, i need familiar grounds.

familiar friends, familiar streets, familiar places.

i want change, but i'm not that strong..

i can't just let go and dive in. :/