di da doo; lifes good.

hmm, i still haven't grasp the entirety of this whole life changing situation.

i mean everytime i think about it i wanna cry

but idky.

it can't possibly be b/c yesterday was the last time i would see all my friends 

b/c we do have the whole summer!

i mean i have a grad party to go to friday!

lol

but i just feel emotional about the whole thing :/

well moving on:

i find myself wanting this 'thing' more &more.

like i just wanna be around it.

&i think i wanna stop myself b/c i don't want it to turn out to be more than i want it to.

b/c i CAN and i WILL control it!

hmph.

but ummm yeah,

this is just an all ovr the place blog.

i thought i was gonna get my laptop yesterday 

but apparently she wants to drop by sometime to drop nit off

b4 she goes back to NC.

it better be on the days i'm home b/c yeahhhhh.

i feel abnormal &my body hurts.

i'mm waiting for my veggie burger to cook.

yup,yup.

ehhh, waste of a blog.

i wanttttt ALOT.

tsktsk.

these memories come back to life<3

ahh, so this is just gonna be a time filler blog.

i'm bored and i'm waiting till 6 b/c i maybe might possibly be going to skateworks.

hmmm, i kinda feel like a n00bz b/c thats not my scene.

but life is about changeeee...

ahh, speaking of change.

i graduate tuesday.

i have vast mixed emotions about it.

like i wanna graduate!

but graduating feels like the end...

idw leave HS and all that it brought me..

attending RHS has changed me so much.

if someone were to ask me if i enjoyed my HS years i would say no.

lol.

10th grade was and will always be the best year ever to me.

i loved it..

even though i was an emotional wreck that WHOLE year...

it was the year that i started the road to finding my own.

i just remember two prime things from that year.

me crying like all the timee about ehhhh :/

and me acting like an idiot dancing and shit.

ahhh i loved 10th grade year<3

9th grade i was such a fuckin loser.

i used to wear cornrolls lololol.

w/ lil frilly stuff at the end.

ickkk

i didn't talk to anyone w/ the exception of my little circle and morgs.

i ignored people,

i was antisocial.

omg, i hatedddd that year.

i still had a bunch of my middle school friends that i no longer talk to anymore b/c i've change and shit.

and i'm so glad that i did b/c i think it would have strayed me in a totally diff direction.

i think 9th grade was the year that me and my sig kinda started talking more...

but 10th grade is when we started to get really close.

i think if i wouldn't have started talking to her as much i would have gotten really close to this girl named jaquita...&i would have been all kinds of fucked up.

lolol,

so thank you morgs, thank you. lol

but anywhooo,

i forgot where i was going w/ this.

lolol, i really forgot what i was talking about..

but um yeah,

11th grade was better.

i knew who i hung out w/and ish.

i think this was my weirdest year b/c the things i wore were kinda bizarre.

omg and my hairrr,

i liked it at the time but now that i looked back at it...

idk what the hell i was thinking.

hmm, 11th grade wasn't really anything special to me..

12th grade.

pwhewww,

i went through alot of personal shit as you may be able to tell from this blog and the one i had b4 that is now private.

lol.

that ish is staying private to!

but mann, i think this year forced me to become really comfortable w/ myself and to think on my own.

i realized alot about my friends that i thought were the best.

&it made me think wiser about the things i do, the people i'm close to and the decisions i make.

throughout all the shit i went through i'm thankful b/c they taught that me valuable life lessons that i NEEDED to learn.

it also made me comfortable w/ this hmm, 'category of folks' lol.

i tried to keep that vague.

i'm better w/ it!

but i still have work.

i feel more independent &it's weird.

in the past when i felt to myself i kind of felt alone.

but i know i'm not alone and i still do depend on people when i need to.

i just have a better idea of the people who are worth depending on...

i think that was phrased right.

lol

oh! and the people that deserve to have an imput on my life.

ooo, but i really like how i dress and how my hair is this year...

well after i cut it that is.

oh and my makeup lol.

oh shit, i'm feeling myself again. 

lololol

but yeahhh i def didn't love HS,

there were some times that i enjoyed.

but i'm glad that i went through this whole experience.

it molded me into a pretty nifty person.

i went in ehh, 

not feeling the best about myself 

and i'm leaving a pretty confident and self satisfied person!

:]]]

so throughout these four yrs i kept a whole bunch of crap.

movie tickets, paper wrist bands, cards, every littlee shit.

soo i'm gonna make a scrap book w/ all that junk...

i have one from middle school too.

i shall me putting one together ovr the summer.

lol.

well i think i'm done.

imma find something else to do w/ my life until i leave.

lol

peace<3

-en.

OH the beauty of time!?

was taken down nukkaaaa.

i'll keep that blog private.

only a few got to read it :p

industrials!!

hmm, lol.

soo i plan on getting an industrial piercing.

as you may know i'm really into stabbing up my ears and gauging and all that good shit.

initially i was gonna do the same to my left ear that i done to my right but i decided to go for an asymmetrical kind of look. 

lol

soo i've been looking up industrial piercings and i keep getting diff feedbacks 

but for the post part it's painful but not so much depending on your pain tolerance.

i think i have a pretty high pain tolerance.

being as tho i pierced myself and sat through the pain of a tattoo on my wrist.

idk hmmm

does this look painful to you?

i thought this one look more real b/c a little 15 yrs old girl got it done.

ahahehe  

i think the only thing that would freak me out is if i bleed b/c i hate seeing my own blood.

lol.

but so far my ears haven't bled unless someone banged up on them so yeahh.

i know people who have an industrial piercing done so imma ask them about itttt.

i wanna get my nipple pierced too.

lmfao.

i'm hoping they grow more so imma wait a while...

oh and maybeee my nose.

if i got it done i would get the hoop b/c i hate studs.

but idk if i'm still down for face piercings.

i wanna get my industrial b4 i leave for penn state

along w/ 2 more tattoos.

but this time they won't be very visible at all.

soo yeahh.

i wanna post what my ears look like now.

lol

i was thinking about a rook as well but EM said it wouldn't look right lol.

imma do something else to that ear tho.

kk, i'm done :::]]

i feel so happy and just so !!!!!!!!!

i can't really put my emotions into words but mannn

THINGS REALLY DO HAPPEN FOR A REASON

shit nobodys bursting my bubble anymore

i feel so much better about everything

the little things i worried about are in the past.

i'm improving as a person

&i'm bettering myself everyday.

ahhhhh corny but i can't help but smile.

i feel really great. ;;;]]]]

prom aftermath!

BRACE YOURSELF THIS IS MY SLOPPIEST BLOG YET!

lol

yayayya!

i would like you all to know that i absolutely ENJOYED my prom night + prom weekend.

i looked cute,

kay looked cute.

&i was had a blast.

really unexpected b/c i thought it was gonna be lame...

it was terrible b/c i got out of the hair salon around 5 and thats the time i should have been getting dressed so i pretty much had to bust my ass to get back to my house and to kays and heathers by 7.

so bammm this is a vid of us in the limo:

i'll post like mega pics @ the end.

to blog about prom and the whole weekend would be ridiculous b/c it's just too much.

i would like to point these 3 things out:

• i got my dance...ahehe lame
• my epiphany was proven to be correct! lol...boom.
• &i got what i wanted.
  

lololol.

yeahh, no elaboration needed.

so after prom was wackish but it was cooll,

i had fun anyway.

went to cias talked until about 6am.

had 4 hours of sleep and left for the harbor at about 4ish.

this is us on the bus:

umm, yeah thenn we hung at the harbor.

nobody would go on the merry go round or paddling with me so we just acted dumb @ best buy until EM came.

thenn we went to eat at the hard rock cafe.

umm yeah another random vid:

i wanna know?

hmm, somethings up w/ her...

and i hate not knowing what!

my plan is into effect...

hopefully i can find out.

i hate not knowing stuff,

i think i contradicted myself from what i said before 

b/c if i recall i said i hate when people tell me stuff.

lol

but yeahh,

she's hurting & i HATE not being able to fix it.

i feel like it's my right to do so.

gahhh

i wanna healll.

but i guess thats outta my control...

well until i find out the problem that is.

well okayuhhhh,

time to roll bounce out the door.

lol

bb whenever.

prom today ---> :] :\ 

Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit

Shows that we are united

Shows that we ain't gonna take it

Shows that we ain't gonna stand shit

Shows that we are united

awkwarddd much?

i'm making this blog simply b/c i felt the need to rant all day...and i rest assure you that I WILL
butttt EM made me get on the cpu.
lol, sooo imma just blog really quick.

today has been a day..
and normally i would say that when it's been a bad like jkrhirghjfgfgjh day..
but actually it wasn't bad..

i've noticed that keeping things to myself is what i really need to do.
i'm all for advice..
when i ask.

or when people are tryna give me a heads up...

the only person i really allow to give me advice w/o me asking for it is EM b/c she speaks good words even though i don't always agree w/ it lol.
&i norm don't really even ask for advice unless its EM of course
or sometimes di and masasah.

[oh btw..i don't say this much at all. ily masasahhhhh! your the only unembarrassing friend i have. lol **insider**]
but telling me shit when i don't ask is like ughhhh.

like i hate when people tell me shit like i give two shits.
bitch idgaf about what you have to say.
if i don't fuckin agree SHUT THE FUCK UP.

but i digress.
people always wanna put their foot in something.

sooo,
awkward?
very much sooo.
i hate it &i'm glad i'm not the only one who sees it.

i'm deffffff not the only one who sees it!
just a few more days & the summer & i won't have to deal w/ it anymore.
can you say heelll to the fucking yesss!
[background]
HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKIN YES!
lololol.
imma clown.

sooo wow!
todayyy
we went to ihop.
it was ehhh,
and i felt ehhh,

so i called the sig.
makes me feel comfy even if shes ranting about restoring her fricken iphone.
lol
<3

but it was cool,

it was like lalalalala. =]

but yeah...
it was fun.
i loved what i got.
okay..moving on.

sooo i haven't blogged about navy yet,
i kinda never wanted to b/c yeahhh...

but soo, i kinda keep this whole navy thing to myself.
i hate that one of my friends ummm lets see..
i need a nickname...
quiptelay.
lolol, i hate that quiptelay is so like BAM with this whole me and navy thing.
she's helped alottttt.
but i just wanna walk on my own now.
you feel me?
[lol, my mom always says that...its embarrasing]

whewww, i'm blogging likes theres no tomorrow.
no distractions or anything.
lol

but yeah, so quiptelay told concave pretty much like BAM about me and navy.
i don't really say much to concave about navy b/c theres no point.
its likeee ehh, she doesn't need to know.
the only people that get my total BAM about navy is quiptelay &masasah.
idy.

but yeah,
i hate how quiptelay just brings him up every time its annoying.
like ughhhh,
blurting across the table 'did ya'll kiss yet?'
geezz stfu!

well i gotta roll bounce.
man i was on a roll.
i didn't reread anything so if i spelled shit wrong leave me alone.

i'll finish later...

okayy, it's 7:42pm and i'm back.

i made my moms 2nd cell phone die &i almost made her 1st one die.

you know why?

b/c i was talking to my siggy!

[i'm gonna bold her name in this whole blog b/c i said it like wayyy too many times. lol]

she comes home nxt week and i'm soo fuckin excited.

hopefully shes gonna spend my whole prom day w/ me so iiiii can't wait!

i think i'm more excited to see her than to go to prom.

lololol. tsk tsk.

soo yeah back to my day.

after we came from ihop we caught up w/ navy 

and yeahhh fun fun fun is all i have to say.

hmm, so i was talking to my friend today and she gave me some very well needed to know info.

i'll take that into account.

shes mad cool for real...

you know who you are!

lololol

but hmm, prom.

i'm so undecided about how i want my hair.

lol, my mind changes constantly.

i get to finally own my dress nxt wednesday when it comes back from alterations

i can't wait.

prom is so eh to me.

me and quiptelay just plan on going offfff.

but i mean, 

i'm just looking forward to getting dressed and taking pictures.

fuck the prom.

although it better be fun for all this damn money i'm putting into it.

i think after prom will be fun tho.

i'm actually looking forward to hanging w/ EM the day after.

lololol.

smh.

i love you siggy<3

i said your name too many times in my blog lol.

but um yeah...

i need to do my penn state FTCAP homework.

and other ughughugh hw i need to do by the 11th.

can't wait for school to be over.

i'm sick &tired of all things high school.

time to move onnnn.

so yup, i'm done.

i gotta pee &wash my hair.

peace<3

oh and one word of advice...CHILL B.

--navy

lol.

summer goal numero tres: FORGET THAT SHIT EN!

......

ehhh;

shit make me feel somekindaway.

&this is why i keep shit to MYSELF.

i'll blog when i feel like it...

actually,

i hate how people have the mind set that just b/c they beileve this [.......]

thats how it's gonna go.

to me, i see it as being extremely closed-minded 

&believing in only what you think.

yeah i'm sure there have been people to agree that your right.

but i think thats NOT the only way that it could go.

i'm tired of hearing peoples shit.

LOL

even though its purely b/c they care.

i will take it into account.

but my decision will be made by myself.

well since i'm in the mood to rant...

being around you guys still makes me feel awkward.

extremely uncomfortable.

can you tell?

geez, i'm actually enjoying myself.

i can't wait till school is outtt.

things have been going good but i'm still not satisfied.

so i wanna start doing that change thing again.

i wanna be more assertive and speak my mind.

i think i'm veryyy, whats the word..

hmm, i think i come off as easy to belittle b/c i'm not very open about what i think 

&my opinions on junk.

i'm always the one who disagrees but nvr speaks up about it...

or the one that feels a certain way & just lets it happen b/c i'm a bitch... 

does that make sense?

idk how imma change that but look @ that as summer goal numero uno.

i rest assure you more will be on its way.

ooo, summer goal numero dos: 

i wanna start exercissinggg.

taking some runs to food lion.

lololol [insider]

but seriously,

exercising is a MUST.

nat out<3

the real slim shady

so i was outside w/ my sis &marco listening to my zune on shuffle and it came to this song.

it's kinda funny b/c this 'topic' has been on my mind for a while

&i wanted to blog about it but you know how i've been lately w/my blogging...lol

so for the sake of me making a slackblog,

these lyrics kinda sum up how i feel.

And there's a million of us just like me

who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me

who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me

and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

ahaha, &they don't pertain to everyone just a someone.

maybe you know who i'm talking about, maybe you don't?

but w/eeee.

idc.

i'm just really annoyed w/ the bullshit coincidences.

we don't have that much fuckin shit in common.

but i guess it's a compliment.

i kinda feel like i influenced heshepersoner to be better.

like w/o meeeee...heshepersoner wouldn't be them...

make sense?

kindaaa like if i didn't have morgs..i would be the nataki everyone knows and lovessss!

=]

got it?

hmmm, well i've been really loving me lately.

did i say that b4?

ah well.

i just kinda feel in my own like my changes are actually being put into affect.

i've broaden my 'who i talk to range' 

thank motherfuckin gawd!

i'm so sick of people saying yeah i know your gonna be around concaveup so i know how to find you.

i'm not always fuckin around herrrrrrrrrrr! >;o

geez fuckin louise.

it's kinda weird..i think this is like the first time this week i actually sat down for more than 10 minutes @ the cpu.

idk how long imma last b/c i'm tired. 

but i do have to do my fricken hair so ehhh.

so um, i tried on my dress today for the first time &i adored it.

i will be blowing major duckets over the nxt two weeks.

i just wanna shoot pass this weekend

&nxt week b/c i'll be off for like two weeks after that and i can't waitttttttttt.

so um yeah,

i'm tired of blogging.

deuces!

"women wave your pantyhose!" 

lolololol, i think thats hilar...

just imagine a ton of women waving their pantyhose in the air.

LMFAO.

---dies---

this is my empty blog space...

=]