;;]]

howdy!

quick blog,

change in summer goals.

i've been doing some...thinking.

ahahe, but whats new right?

update later when i'm in better shape.

i've been pretty screwed lately.

ahhh, but once again.

whats new?

a change 'tis a coming? lol.

OH!

i had one really important thing to say...

i'm contemplating a decision.

idk...

it will really change me,

like if you thank of nat your think this...

lol

but i know imma hear some crap if i do make this decision.

but i'm kind of sick of having the will power.

kinda thought it was a phase...

i still do care!

but i kindaaa don't wanna be one anymore.

i'll make my decision soon b/c i've been sporadically cheating like a BITCH.

lmfao.

ah well...

it was bound to happen some day.

know what i'm tlking about?

muwhahahaha.

ahehe,

doneee. ;]

i’m not what i was before; i’m not good.

um

*clears throat*

hello!

long time no blog.

ahhh, man i could go on and on about the things that have been bothering me...

but i'd rather not have anyone know what i'm thinking @ the moment.

i wanna be kind of closed and all that other shit.

aha, idk how to blog anymore.

but yeahh,

theres so much stuff going on in my head that i have YET to fix..

and as i continue to stall...

more shit packs up on top.

but eh, thats life?

i'll fix it when i get the chance.

until then i'll just be bitter, mad,annoyed and ehbleheh.

;]

but hmm,

i got my twilight new moon book and i've been reading that,

almost done tho.

whoo woo.

i went to penn state a couple of days ago,

and i felt pretty comfy.

scheduled my classes,

got my ID,

met cool people.

if i was still iffy about my decision to attend that college,

i am 100% sure now.

i think i'm going to enjoy it.

welll,

ehhh.

i'm done blogging.

this wasn't necessary interesting but...

no one said you had to read it.

lol

hasta whenever.

-nat<3

p.s twilight quote again.

mwuahaha ;]

i have a problem..as you can tell.

hmm...

i'm not my biggest fan right now. :/

i’m not used to feeling so human...

sigh, i wish i knew why i felt like this.

i feel so misplaced.

actually i wanna cry...how gay. :/

i feel so jittery

&i'm trying to calm my nerves w/ some owl city.

it used to work back when i use to feel all icky.

but its not cutting it today.

sigh.

i don't have the umph to blog anymore,

but i'm forcing myself b/c its been looking rather dry here lately.

heyy, i'm starting to feel a little better.

well, i finished my twilight book today.

...only took me about a day & a half to read.

i ordered 'new moon' yesterday so it should be on its way pretty soon.

i loved the book!

idk, it made me feel some kinda way.

...a way that i can't really explain just yet. lol

i feel like i'm @ a standstill again.

nothing extraordinary is happening worth blogging about

&nothing terrible has happened either.

i'm just living a straight line until something comes along.

beats having something to complain about any day...i guess.

um, well my phone is officially crap.

go figure?

i'll be being a new phone sooonnnn.

um, so yeah.

i don't have much to say.

so i'm done.

oh btw:

i quoted twilight

hence my blog title.

lol

sry i haven't been updating here that much.

i decided to give my private blog some company.

i'll update soon i suppose. :]

mwuahahahaha/summer goals list.

hmmm, i have a lot of thoughts.

i'll jot them later.

:]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay, so its like around 4am and i just got finished watching bride wars,

noww, you would think it's solely about a wedding right?

nay

it kinda touched how i was feeling and i balled like a baby

which isn't something new cause we all know i'm an emotional whore...

can't change that.

*shrugs*

but ehh, so there were two bestfriends w/ a falling friendship

you wouldn't know what i'm tlking about unless the watched the movie..

so you should!

but until then imma still say what i wanna say

i felt like the emma to the liz in the movie,

not just to the liz, but i feel like the emma in general.

i'm so passive and i don't really speak on what i want.

it just aggravates the hell outta me.

i hate the feeling that 'someones walking ovr me'

like i don't want things to happen or i wanna say things but i don't and i just let things slide on by.

it's upsetting me

&i feel kinda unhappy about it.

maybe i'm just going through some emotional thing b/c i haven't cried in a while

but i'm just so eh.

i really felt and feel like i'm changing

i mean i AM.

but once again i feel like i'm gaining,

i'm loosing something in return as well.

i feel like my personality is falling

idk, i just don't feel like myself.

but you know i was eating a fortune cookie today and this was my fortune:

"Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change."

not completely hitting the hammer on the nail,

but the key word there was CHANGE.

but i mean we all knew that was coming..

i stress that SO many times it get exhausting typing it lol

but change,

i totally forgot about my summer goals and thats such a shame.

and this was summer goal #1!

so imma make a list in this blog and keep 'em coming as i think of more.

i'm getting so sick of this happy for a couple of weeks blah the next week thing i got going on.

but eh, thats life.

i didn't get into any specifics b/c i'd rather not hear anybodys mouth about my blog.

SUMMER GOALS!:

• be assertive, LESS passive.
• EXERCISE
• FORGET THAT SHIT EN! [lol, i think thats close to being accomplished] CHECK!
• get my industrial, left ear.
• HMM, read more.
• buy new phone
• driving classes
• dr. martens!!!!

more goals will be added in a timely manner. :::]]]